Pet Problems
by LadyHawk225
Summary: Short and silly. Purely for fun! Co-written. PG for violence. Please R & R!


Okay, I must tell all my readers that I wrote this fic with a friend of mine at midnight. It's really dumb, but funny, especially if you have had little sleep and too much sugar. Enjoy! Please R & R!

Pet Problems

By: LadyHawk225

The Ronins were lonely.

Except for Ryo, because of WhiteBlaze. Unfortunately, WhiteBlaze refused to come inside the house or anywhere near Ryo, since just the other week, Ryo had taken him to get neutered. Ryo felt badly about this, all the guys did, but especially Ryo because when WhiteBlaze wasn't avoiding him, he was stalking him.

Because girls were too complicated, they decided to get pets. So one day, they all piled into the van and drove to the local pet store in town, bent on gaining some non-human companions.

"Awwww! It's so cute!" Cye murmured, pressing his face up against the glass as he stared at the little white bunnies hopping around in their pen.

"Cye, you sound like a woman!" Sage muttered.

"Sage, you look like a woman!" Cye retorted.

Sage gasped. And held his hand to his heart.

"Oh, dear! I'm crushed!" Sage cried, making his voice high pitched, fanning himself with his hands and feigning faintness.

"What's going on guys?" Kento asked, coming up to them.

"NOTHING!" Both Cye and Sage cried as one.

Ryo walks up.

"Sage," Ryo said quietly in Sage's ear. "Please tell me I didn't just see you fanning yourself with you hand like a Miss America contestant."

"You didn't see me fanning myself like a Miss America contestant." Sage replied dutifully.

Ryo gave him an odd look, but nodded, missing the point.

"Guys! They have parrots!" Rowen ran shrieking up to his friends.

"Uh, great. Great." Ryo said, giving Rowen a look that clearly said, 'you've lost your mind'.

Rowen ignored him.

"Not just ANY parrots. They've got a Paritofric Frienscias!" Rowen cried.

"Wow." Ryo faked interest.

"Do you know how rare those are?!" Rowen cried, hopping up and down with excitement. "I'm going to buy it!"

"Um, Ro, if it's so rare, won't it be a bit expensive?" Sage asked.

"No, it's actually really cheap, I don't know why." Rowen said, "But it doesn't matter!" He ran off again, practically dancing down the aisles.

"So....um, we all know what Rowen's getting..." Kento commented, "what about the rest of you?"

Half An Hour Later

The Ronins entered Mia's house, carrying an assortment of feathers, fins and fur. Rowen had indeed gotten his parrot, Cye decided on the adorable bunny he had been mooning over, Sage had chosen a cat...know one made any comment on this, while Kento brought home a goldfish...which Cye didn't understand since they already had fish, and Ryo had chosen turtle, claiming it belonged with them since it had armor...know one made a comment about this either.

Kento looked at Cye. "So, what do I do?" He asked, pointing to the goldfish.

Cye grimaced and took over. "Get a large bowl from the kitchen..." He continued telling Kento how to care for his fish while cuddling his bunny and placing it in his shirt pocket.

Just then, Sage's cat leapt out of his arms and latched itself to Ryo's face, hissing and clawing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryo screamed as he ran about the living room, trying to pry the fur ball off his face. Sage laughed and retrieved his cat.

"Aw, Ryo. He likes you." He grinned, cuddling the purring cat up against his face.

Ryo watched as Sage took the cat upstairs, swearing he saw it's eyes turn blood red before disappearing with Sage into his room.

"DAMN YOU!!!" An inhuman shriek launched across the house.

"Rowen...what was that?" Ryo asked his sheepish friend.

"I think Rowen's teaching the parrot bad words!" Kento sang coming back into the room.

"Naw aw! It's not me!" Rowen pleaded.

"Ahuh. Right. Then who might it be?" Kento asked.

"The cat?" Rowen mumbled.

"He may be right..." Ryo agreed, mumbling to himself.

"Hey as anyone seen my turtle?" He asked, looking in the couch covers.

"You lost him already?!" Cye cried, coming back into the living room.

"Noooo...just misplaced." Ryo gave Cye an innocent grin.

The parrot let out another profanity.

"What was that!?" Cye asked, turning to Rowen, appalled.

"It came this way!" Rowen cried, defending himself.

"Then why didn't we hear it in the store?" Cye asked, hands on his hips.

"Ummmmmmmmm..."

"Ah ha! Found you!" Ryo cried scooping the renegade turtle off the TV set.

"How did he get up there!" Kento wondered.

"I bet the cat did it!" Ryo cried, hugging the turtle defensively.

"My cat didn't do anything to your stupid old turtle." Sage said, coming down the stairs, catless.

"Hey don't insult my turtle! He has armor! He can beat the crap out of your cat any day!" Ryo cried, angrily.

Sage seethed.

"Oooooo, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The parrot started chanting.

Everyone stopped and looked at the bird, scratching their heads.

"I think I'll call him Mr. Chips!" Rowen cried, excited.

"HEY! That's what I named my cat!" Sage cried.

"Well, that's a coincidence." Cye muttered.

"Oh, well, they can both be Mr. Chips." Kento said, trying to pacify the situation.

"AAAA!!! There it is!" Ryo cried, pointing a shaking finger at the cat, slowly descending the stairs, staring at him.

Suddenly, thunder rumbled in the sky and lightning flashed. Ryo ran for the door, opening it to a still furious WhiteBlaze. Ryo slammed the door shut, leaning against it and watching the demon cat slowly walk towards him. Eyes flashing red.

"Ohhhhhh, did da widdle pussy have a nice nappy wappy?" Sage said, picking up the cat and squeezing it.

Everyone looked at Sage and backed away slightly. Sage set the cat down again and it continued walking towards Ryo. Suddenly, lightning flashed again. And the lights went out.

Ryo screamed.

The parrot cursed.

Several thumps and squeals could be heard around the room.

The turtle climbed back onto the TV.

Suddenly, lightning flashed again. The guys looked up and saw the cat, on the top of the bookshelf, staring at them. Suddenly, a dark and sinister voice sounded out of the darkness.

"YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!"

Everyone screamed and suddenly the lights went back on to reveal...

Cye. Dead. The rabbit attached to his throat. Everyone screamed again. The rabbit turned to the frightened boys, blood dripping from his tiny fang. With an inhuman roar, he flew into the air and began attacking the Ronins and their pets, severing arms and legs as he flew about the room. In the end, the only thing left was the killer rabbit, and the turtle who had armor to protect himself.

OWARI


End file.
